Ahhh, finally

During Physics, of all classes, I had an emotional epiphany the size of that new skyscraper across the ocean.
I'm done with that one feeling I hadn't been able to shirk for years. Mind over matter, I'm over it. It doesn't matter how much it had affected me, I'm not letting it bother me anymore.

short post, but hey, biiiiig meaning.

update

I've been journaling everyday so I have been neglecting my blog and would like to apologize to my cyberstalker *coughjoecough* :/
sooo here's what it is fools!
[:

Good things:
3 out of 5 colleges have accepted me so far
I started this year with quite an experience and liked how it made me feel
I've reconnected with a friend that I love and had been missing the stimulating conversations
I'm working on my confidence and am slowly getting rid of some emotional baggage
Awesome things are coming up soon that I'm uber excited about
I turned in my "Shapeshift" poem to the school's literary magazine "Pathways"
I get to see my little sister this weekend if the snow is kept at bay, it's been over a year
I might actually get to hang out with one of my guy friends without having to cancel on him again
Depending on how I do, my scholarship luncheon this weekend might prove wonderful

Bad things:
I still suck at Calculus
I've been wasting my time watching re-runs of Buffy ha
I'm a big cry baby, seriously
I've already effed up some of my resolutions already
I haven't been sleeping well
When I do sleep, my dreams aren't so wonderful
My senioritis is kicking in big time
I haven't been thinking things through as well as I have in the past
I'm still not over that one thing, gahh

yup, that's the update

raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you've made it now

falling slowly is my jam right now, depressing, but oh dear
so, this is me as far as I can explain, feel free to ask questions, ha

I throw pillows at the tv when I get aggravated at the plot
I have a strange addiction to chapstick and poptarts and citrus green tea
I think the loch ness monster really exists
I believe strongly in abstinence
I love the nail polish that smells like fruit when dry
I hate collard greens and corn bread even though I live in the south, I am however, partial to sweet tea...yum
I over-analyze every decision I ever make, rendering that decision of is former mystery
I could live in Urban Outfitters...its my hippie store complete with feathery headbands
I can make really good veggie lasagna
I hate how I get embarrassed easily
I love Taco Bell only for the Mountain Dew Baha Blast drink
I am mesmerized by all types of art and literature, because I believe there is beauty in every conception of the mind-I love words especially
I get chalk all over me when I use sidewalk chalk
I'm afraid of the unknown but love the thrill of it
I think every guy on Jackass is insanely idiotic, yet I still laugh
I wanna get away from here and make my way all on my own...until I find him
I can recite all 50 states in ABC order in under 20 sec using one breath
I love making fantasmagorically behemoth sentences with my Shakespeare magnets
I'm attracted bad boys at times, but oh well aren't we all?
I'm never ever ever going to get tired of Kryptonite by 3 doors down...ever
I love to listen to my old records that are soundtracks to movies like Footloose, Dirty Dancing, Grease, etc. and other records...love me some great oldschool music
I have a gazillion pages of poems and lyrics for songs I never finish
I'm torn something awful between my head and my heart
I hate it when I try to explain something I'm thinking about, but just can't get the words out to express what's in my head
I hate it when you sleep on something like your hand with a ring, or a blanket that has some weird raised pattern and when you wake up your skin is indented into that shape
I don't talk to guys on the phone that much cause of the awkward silences such a call insures
I hate the traffic in Atlanta, but I enjoy watching some people who dance in their car or do other crazy stuff while they wait...and yeah I'm guilty for that too
I cry easily and take everything said to heart
I love to smile and laugh but my smile is kinda crooked and my laugh is semi-obnoxious
I like white cheddar cheez-its
I like to watch lightning and believe the world is just a little purer after a heavy rain
I want rain when its sunny and sun when its raining
I have a safe haven on my roof, that's where I can breathe and focus
I do my homework on that roof as well
I love the way Andrew McCarthy looks before he kisses someone in a movie and the fact that he wore bowling shoes in Mannequin back in the 80's
I want bowling shoes...yup
I want a guy who respects me, has self-resprect, and the respect of others, one who's responsible and solid in trust and communication
I used to sing opera
I don't drink or smoke, I tried it for awhile and it's not worth it
I think I'm addicted to 80's John Cusack, Andrew McCarthy, Molly Ringwald, Amilio Estevaz, Rob Lowe movies
I'm also addicted to Will&Grace "knock knock, is anybody homo?"
I don't judge because its not my place, so if I don't openly declare my opinions, that's my buisiness
I seem to fall easily even when I realize I'm falling...relationship wise , that is
I do this thing where, when listening to music I like ALOT, I squeeze my eyes shut
I take all sorts of pictures and edit when I'm bored
I have a hard time letting go of the past which affects my future views, but I try hard to not regret
I randomly sing Disney songs^.^
I hate that I don't think I'll ever forget that one feeling even though I know it's pointless
I love painting, but never seem to make time for it. One day I want to paint a HUGE masquerade scene
I wanna go to a masquerade cause I love the luxury of that era in time
I hate it when your hair gets sucked into the hairdryer and not only is it tangled beyond belief, but you smell like burnt hair.
I love long, hot showers that release tension
I hate stepping out of a long, hot shower and instantly turning into a human popsicle
I hate it when you start singing or humming a song and whomever is near you decides to start singing too...
I hate when people think they can say whatever they want to me cause I'm a push over
I hate needing to talk about issues when it can hurt the other person
I love how Joseph Gordan-Levitt resembles Heath Ledger ever so slightly in 500 Days of Summer
I love writing random stuff like this then get miffed because I forget half of what I was thinking about and have to stop until I think of other stuff

I didn't mean to waste your time

ohhh my damn.
I feel like such a terrible person day one of 2010.

I screwed up again and lost out on having a great movie night with my best friend. I haven't finished my to do list for this week either and it's already friday. I'm most likely not even going to be able to go see my little sister tomorrow and I had promised her I would. Guess my promises have been falsified lately, not intentionally, I just have to try to not make my "mother" mad for even the most insignificant things. I'll never achieve that, though.
God knows I can't wait to get out of here, I've got 4 months left of tip-toeing around them before I can do anything.
I really need some forgiveness right now from my best friend for being ridiculous lately.
I can't blame just my "mom" for chaining me back all the time though, it's my fault too.