but they're just old light, they're just old light
Ok so, I've been thinking a lot recently about how wonderful it is to have options, but a problem arises when you're as incredibly indecisive as I am. I've been telling everyone, including myself, what I "want" to do, but I realize I'm really not sure. I've been so caught up in the idea I've been pushing for so long, that I really haven't made time to actually think it through. This happens often to me. Being so "spontaneous" is causing some problems, distracting me from things I really, really need to be considering. I'm not sure how to fix it all, and I'm beyond stressed. I'm too young to be this stressed. I need to work on that first and foremost, just yoga's not doing it for me. My home has never been stress conscious with all the mental massacre going on at all times, the whole self-realization that I might be setting my future up completely wrong just adds to that. I'm worn out emotionally. I've got too many issues with certain people to sort all of this out. It's ridiculous and unnessecary. I recently read an article discussing built up toxicity in the heart and mind and how it can seriously affect a person. I'm not a hypochondriac or anything, but my health is declining and I think it's from toxic emotion. I've just got to learn to deal, everyone else seems to be dealing, why can't I? Gahh...that's about it for now.
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