So Senior year...
wow, I'm embarking upon a new year and have expectations, of what height I'm completely unaware, and am utterly tired of what I do to myself.
I need change, I need revitalization, I need strength, I need balance, I need faith.
Sure, I'm into music heavily. Sure, I have long, flowing, Hippie hair. Sure, I'm vegetarian. Sure, I love nature and animals. Sure, I care about the environment. Sure, I feel like a badass activist on occasion. Sure, I wanna make a change in the world.
But this is all so stereotypical. I don't want to be judged, or judge others. But it happens and we all do it. But that still doesn't excuse it. But even though wanna give myself to a greater purpose, currently I have not the means, nor the logic.
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I cry too easy. I pretend things are better than they are. I ask myself why I am the way I am. I can't honestly answer it. I try to give some petty things up. I fail at it. I want peace and love, freedom and passion. I want Taco Bell right now. I know that was random.
I feel like a fraud sometimes. I feel like I can't go on sometimes. I feel like a psycho sometimes. I feel like I have no direction sometimes. I feel the need to scream and pour my heart out sometimes. I feel like nothing can get any worse sometimes. I feel indescribably surrounded by amazingly inspired people sometimes. I feel inadequate sometimes. I feel hyper and overly enthusiastic sometimes. I feel happy sometimes.
soul-searching...status:in process of
finding love...status:dormant
persuing dreams...status:will take a while
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No matter how many awesome things anyone may be doing with their life, they always want to better themselves. I think everyone feel like a fraud sometimes too because in all actuality, no one is totally original; everyone is inspired by something.
ReplyDeleteSo, the moral of this comment is, keep your chin up! In about 9 months you'll be done with closeminded, Union County High School. Then you're free to move wherever. I used to get really bummed a lot because I felt like I didn't have much in common with anyone, and then I moved to a city and met a bunch of likeminded kids. It rules.
Anyway. The End.